Can Parents Help Kids Chart Their Own Faith Journeys?

Many parents have experienced wonder at how different two (or more) children born into the same family can be. One excels at visual learning; the other has an auditory learning style. One struggles with 9th grade math, while another is stymied by 8th grade spelling words. One is perfectly suited for home school programs, but others may excel in a more traditional classroom setting. 

What is true of learning styles follows in other areas. My daughter and son were in middle school when my wife and I realized that the parenting techniques that fit our daughter (the older, and more compliant child) didn’t work well at all with our son, who had different emotional and relational needs from his sister. The realization prompted a mid-course correction that made a huge difference in our family dynamics.

Similarly, different kids take different faith journeys as well. At TruPlay games, we try to reflect that in the lives of the characters that populate games set in the Rhymverse. For example, Maple the tiger bunny, though she’s only eight-and-a-half, has a sincere, strong faith in God that never wavers. On the other hand, Oliver—a fox dressed as a bear—though he’s just a bit older than Maple, is still finding his way in matters of faith, and Maple is more than happy to help him along. Lucas, a skunk wearing a crocodile robot suit he created himself, is something of a skeptic, though his friend Noah is helping him learn about prayer and faith in God.

So, how can parents help their children who are taking different faith journeys? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Become students OF your children

That is, study the different ways your children learn and relate to each other, and discuss as parents how those differences might affect how they relate to God. Pray for wisdom to see each child’s uniqueness through God’s eyes.

2. Tailor your leading and teaching to each child’s unique qualities

Instead of treating your kids “the same,” teach and lead them “in a way that fits their needs” (Proverbs 22:6 ERV). Allow them the freedom to think, act, and progress toward God in their own unique ways. For example, one child may need to have his or her intellectual questions answered, while another is more energized by vibrant worship experiences.

3. Be patient with each child’s timeline

It’s tempting as parents to expect Child #2 to progress in faith along the same lines as Child #1 did. But “each one should carry their own load” (Galatians 6:5 NIV), so to speak. Pray for patience and do your best to nudge each child closer to God “in a way that fits their needs.”